In 2018, I was a first year student at the Victorian College of the Arts (VCA), enrolled in a Bachelor of Fine Arts (Visual Arts). I belonged to the photography department on level one, although the disciplines themselves are quite fluid.

My time at the VCA was very successful on the surface; I achieved straight H1 grades, I was given the opportunity to curate my own exhibition in the VCA Art Space (apparently this was unheard of among first year students) and I was well-respected by my tutors. At the same time I felt profoundly alienated from my peers and the artistic scene. I was only eighteen, nineteen years old.

I withdrew after two semesters. I couldn't explain why I was leaving to anyone. I think more than anything I felt that I didn't know enough about myself or my practice to stay, and if I didn't have a good enough reason to stay, I would be wasting my time and money.

This proved to be the right decision. I definitely nudged closer to a personal aesthetic in first year, but in the years that followed, I learned exceedingly more about both the wider world and who I was. Now, I gradually find myself moving toward art again, and never stopped viewing myself as an artistic practitioner.